Bill Fagerbakke was born on October 4, 1957 in Fontana, California, USA as William Mark Fagerbakke. And so, spurred on by the recent and senseless death of one of our most brilliant and beloved artists, I offer these words to you, my fellow players: If, like so many of us, you have been suffering this horror in secret and in silence, in the fear that medication will deaden your feelings, I hope these words might encourage you to avail yourself of the nearly miraculous treatment now available to you. Grey skies, grey buildings, grey pavement, grey people. I get through the first scene, but it’s as if I am watching everyone else through a pane of glass. He was, and is, someone whose work I greatly admire for (among other things) his depth of emotion— so his words hit home: I want you to know that the illness you are struggling with is one that I am intimately acquainted with. And it wasn’t just grief keeping me awake. He has originated the roles of Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin in Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, The Grinch in Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Never let on that I was frequently in agonizing pain. I have variously been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, depressive disorder—you name it. I don’t experience a single moment of comfort, joy or peace all day long. I started talking about my own Depression publicly six years ago. Depressives can fake it better than Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally”. Nothing happens overnight. Your favorite food? Is there anything else you’d like to say? There’s satisfying spark in … Frank Langella, right, and Patrick Page in “A Man for All Seasons.” Credit Sara Krulwich/The New York Times. I could never make it through a full day in a “normal” job, but as an actor one’s colleagues are likely to consider your peculiarities simply a part of your “process”. It took a long time to get my medications right. He has been married to Paige Davis since October 27, 2001. Dread as a certainty that tomorrow will be worse than today. The holiday lights are gone, along with the tourists and their pastels, and the city is drained of color, dressed in black, laid out like a corpse in a casket lined in muddy white velvet. Of the breakdown in the rehearsal room I remember little, except the kindness in the eyes of actor John Christopher Jones as he said to the others “I’ll take him”. 4 0 obj She thanks me for the courtesy. No one knew, except my therapist and my wife. If they say “I’m depressed even though wonderful things are happening in my life” it may be a real case of depression. He was writing a feature story that would cover my life and career. Initially they made me sleepy and took away my libido. Mr. Page’s charcoal baritone seductively wraps itself around Ms. Mitchell’s songs as he hymns the comforts that await Eurydice down below, and mocks Orpheus’s promises �� ���D��E���n��r�|���M���V�����`��˰yFhi8�U����˩��7���8$� �D4������ Fl,��q�X�8�0KoxC���Ӟ. Nothing. I am depressed even though I am playing a leading Shakespearean role at a major New York Theatre. It was all Paige could do to get me to my medical appointments. Depression is not a mood. Finally, the feeling that I am being physically strangled and suffocated is constant and overwhelming. I deeply believed that anti-depressants would kill all my feelings and I would end up a zombie, in life and on-stage. If someone says “I’m depressed because bad things are happening in my life” you can be pretty sure they are not depressed. This last symptom is the most pervasive and the most troubling-the constant feeling of suffocation puts me in a fight or flight state of mind. Maybe that is why I am getting so many lovely and baffling compliments about my work from fellow cast members. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> I’m sobbing hysterically and repeating over and over “I’m sorry. I didn’t know them, and I can only speculate, but their deaths are not baffling to me. It’s Page’s ability to appear both thunderous and sophisticated that’s remarkable. It claims its victims by suicide. Then, when the snow melts, it’s just grey. PATRICK PAGE www.patrickpageonline.com FILM AND TV ELEMENTARY Jonathan Bloom (Recurring) CBS MADAME SECRETARY Reverend Slaterry (Recurring) CBS ... AN ACT OF GOD Voice of God Booth Theater JULIUS CAESAR Decius Brutus Belasco Theater … This time, in addition to the all consuming heaviness and torpor, I feel an oncoming rush of panic. © 2020 Patrick Page. Looking for some great streaming picks? Perhaps I can use this feeling to tap more deeply into Claudius’ shame and self-hatred. It would be exciting to have an audience for the first time. For the first time in my life, I had to drop out of a show. Normally this would be a favorite day for me. Patrick Page, Actor: Flesh and Bone. It’s a life-threatening brain sickness. I had been afraid. The need to scream and weep is pulsing inside of me-as undeniable as the need to release the bowels when one has diarrhea, or the urge to vomit when one is nauseous–but I hold it back and retreat to my corner next to my big green parka underneath the ballet bar. I’m better now. We defeat it by transforming it. I feel appropriate emotions all the time. A long lost family member? My confession had been brought on by the fact that a couple of months earlier a member of the Spider-Man-Turn Off the Dark family-Jason Lindahl, who worked on our video projections-had killed himself. I think it took about nine months. I certainly didn’t feel lucid. An Act of God (Jun 06, 2016 - Sep 04, 2016) Performer: Patrick Page [Voice of God] Play Comedy Original. Depression is an illness shared by about 9 percent of adults in America, including me. ... no voice, no access to the emotions or the imagination. I’m sorry. I have very few moments when I function well and the crying jags now come about every half hour. If it was done at the last second no one could ever really be sure whether it was an accident or on purpose. We added and subtracted meds from my mix until we came up with the right “cocktail” for me. I wanted to return to rehearsal and performance, but I was barely able to speak or walk. But it’s one of the defining factors of my personality, so I guess we should talk about it.”. Nothing. Today’s reverie is of jumping in front of the express train. Never been late to a rehearsal. His body had been found in the Hudson River and a suicide note was discovered in his apartment. – Financial Times Enter Hades, played with an air both sinister and suave by Patrick Page. In Manhattan when January comes the snow covered city seems to be shot in black and white, like those old Life Magazine photos of The Great Depression. The inability to experience joy or happiness is its hallmark. If he had known about my struggle and my eventual recovery he might have asked me for help. These daydreams make the hours a little less stressful-like knowing where the fire escape is in a crowded building. I need a doctor. Nothing. Because depression is so notoriously hard to describe-and (once the insanity has lifted) so difficult to remember precisely–I made an effort to keep a journal: It feels like it’s been winter forever. A total myth. We need a new word for the illness called depression. A role in the next Spielberg movie? Or rather, that the end of the tunnel is actually behind me–I remember feeling happy in the past, although I cannot imagine it in the future. Closer to horror than to grief, a feeling like a stomach full of old newspaper soaked in dirty ice-water. The brightly lit rehearsal hall is buzzing with new energy. I also seem to be losing more weight-eating is pretty torturous and done only because I know I have to. But sadness is not depression. The final symptom is dread. stream Sadness is the natural response to bad circumstances. Check out some of the IMDb editors' favorites movies and shows to round out your Watchlist. Initially the meds Dr. Robertshaw prescribed did dull my affect, making it harder for me to feel things. Dread as a physical sensation–like the onset of a sneeze or a vomit. Nothing. At the end of the interview Healy said: “That’s all the questions I can think of. All Rights Reserved. I know my depression is lurking just around the corner-waiting. And Patrick, sometime down the line, when you next tackle Leontes or MacBeth or one one of those boys – you will bring a depth of compassion and understanding to the role previously unavailable to you. And-full disclosure– there were years of dangerous substance abuse as I attempted to self-medicate my symptoms. Every day is a battle from the time I wake up until I go, fitfully, to sleep. Dread as a certainty that tomorrow will be worse than today. It was fear. The suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have left many people baffled. We live in an extraordinary era-the first era in which the illness that took the lives of Virginia Woolf, Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Mark Rothko, Ann Sexton, Robin Williams, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain—among so many others–can actually be treated. I just want to feel better. In addition to being one of New York’s leading actors, Patrick Page has been a celebrated acting teacher for over 25 years. And I knew how to hide. As Dick Cavett said “A depression is a dip in the road. I’ve had it most of my life. Patrick Page is one of Broadway’s outstanding actors, having starred in some of the Great White Way’s most popular plays and musicals %��������� He was a Depressive–like me. The standout performance comes from Patrick Page who, as Hades, has a voice that seems to issue, appropriately, from the depths-New Guardian. That’s where the good part kicks in – we get to put everything, especially our pain, into our work. Patrick Page (born April 27, 1962) is an American actor, low bass singer, and playwright. I am depressed even though I have a loving and incredible wife. The Musical and Hades in Hadestown. We’re the only ones who get to take our most private suffering and make something new and better with it. He is an actor, known for Flesh and Bone (2015), The Good Wife (2009) and Saint Mary's Secret.
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