You can’t even get a decent hamburger anymore! This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. However, the sun and the sky, natural wonders, have always and will always inspire great awe in all living things, and are, indeed, awesome. The greatest thing since sliced bread. Now listen… I got a few more items of things that are pissing me off, and this one comes in the form of a question. There’s a drop-off. Men will do anything, just give them something that plugs in the wall and makes a whirring noise. I also know all you single dads and soccer moms who think you’re such fucking heroes aren’t gonna like this, but somebody’s gotta tell you for your own good, your children are overrated and overvalued. The odds of you being killed by a terrorist are practically zero! I’m thinking of opening up a motel and calling it “The Sleep n’ Fuck”. The Sperm Club! Oh and by the way, an airplane flight shouldn’t be completely safe. His humor covered subjects including politics, psychology, and religion. Sally Jesse’s next show is “Rapists Who Force Their Victims to Play ‘Yatzee’ Beforehand”. On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Having several of the videos free to watch with Amazon Prime is great. How did some crime fiction come to be described as “hard-boiled”? Hush now — our hypothesis lets us offer hope to George Carlin disciples. It’s ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths. I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do… you’re gonna get sick, you’re gonna die, and you’re gonna deserve it cause you’re fucking weak and you got a fucking weak immune system! 405 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. Come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly professional staff. Therefore, according to Carlin’s impeccable logic, picking up vegan food at some restaurant would not be “awesome” according to the actual meaning of the term. It stood for biker attitude; grimy outlaws in their sweaty mamas full of beer and crank, rolling around on Harleys, looking for a good time – destroying property, raping teenagers, and killing policemen… all very necessary activities by the way. They don’t trust one another! TradeMark Express Blog: All Things Trademark. “Yes, he happens to be black.” Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he had two black parents? Café Vagina! And I think deep down, Americans know that. God bless Joe Pesci! It’s completely out of balance. You ever see these guys? Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s divine plan. People don’t believe that! You know it’s true; parents are burning these kids out on structure. Dolle kept saying “I’m a plain and honest man!” Bullshit! The same is true with blue corn and blue potatoes. And get on with your life. And never mind ordinary germs, what are you gonna do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shit? You know when I wash my hands? How did this happen? However, the skin of the blueberry is blue, which is the fact of importance. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Happened like that , overnight, I became a sun worshipper… well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night, the first thing the next morning, I became a sun worshipper. Names are an interest of mine, not a hobby, hobbies cost money, interests are free. Hey listen, that’s all these marines are looking for… a good time. handled before, for example that was March 24, 1750, would be followed by March 25, 1751. They’re keeping it from us! Dentists and bureaucrats and pussy-boy software designers getting up on a Harley cause they think it makes them cool. Album A Place For My Stuff. No, no, maybe do a little edging, a little edging along the driveway after a party, that’s all you can hope for. You have to be a realist; you have to be realistic about terrorism. No cash? He was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. I appreciate it! What's so great about Wish we could know what the cashier said after George gave him the lecture. There were other special performers including Jim Henson’s Muppets. Well, JFK’s administration was called “Camelot”… well, it really should’ve been called “Come-a-lot” cause that’s what he did, he came a lot! Where is the blue food? That’s not what I’m talking about. Frankie’s Fuckery! First thing on my list tonight… airport security. Now here’s another example of overprotection. If you wanna know how you can help your children, leave them the fuck alone! Okay? Angels… shit! Doesn’t that seem a little arrogant? And a lot of them don’t smell too good either; the little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and sour milk combination or something. And if you’re a customer, whoa… that’s when you get the really big smile! What are these fucking cretins talking about? Now, under some conditions it may be useful for a plant to suppress red to such a degree that its edible bits aren’t just purple or bluish but indisputably blue. Oh now, I’m humming, mmmmmm” Well I can’t help it, I am a romantic and I do enjoy the sentimental tunes. Yeah! Why is there no (or at least, so little) naturally occurring blue food? This is about a festival. And it’s not a new idea; I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand cause the narration was in German! Why? The part I like the best, “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again”. There seems to still be some special films we want to own on DVD. John Wayne Gacy loved his children… kept them all right out on the yard near the garage. No telling what the Mayans and Aztecs would say if they were still around. At least he’s honest.” At least he’s honest about being completely full of shit. It’s all you hear in this country… children, “help the children!” “what about the children?” “save the children!” You know what I say? I noticed that all the prayers that I used to offer to God and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Here’s another name I don’t care for, TGI Fridays, you know these cutsy-ass little places? Here’s another bunch of ignorant shit… school uniforms. Far-fetched? Into my colon! Musical guests were Billy Preston, Janis Ian. You know why? And you’d be anxious and depressed too if you had to put up with these pathetic, insecure, striving, anal, yuppy parents who enrol you in college before you’re old enough to know which side of the playpen smells the worst! (Why chlorophyll is green is a question for another day.) We want the blue food! You might wanna look at “The Three Little Pigs”, that’s a good one, has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. I don’t think he was on the guest list, but how cool would it have been if he'd been there?? Director: Rocco Urbisci | Stars: George Carlin, Jon Stewart, Johnny Carson, Sinbad. Where did this sudden fear of germs come from in this country? Limited time only though so act now, order today, send no money, offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow 6 weeks for delivery, some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. And the other term is “openly.” “Openly gay.” They say “he’s openly gay.” But that’s the only minority they use that for. The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. What about goblins huh? S'inscrivant dans la lignée d'humoristes comme Lenny Bruce ou Richard Pryor, George Carlin est célèbre pour son attitude irrévérencieuse et ses observations sur le langage3, la psychologie, la religion, la politique, ainsi que de nombreux sujets tabous aux États-Unis. I’m not worried about guns in school. I’m completely full of shit and how do you like that?” and the people said “You know something? You take about 100,000 of these disgusting pricks and you throw them in a big dirt arena, big 25-acre dirt arena and you just let them beat the shit out of each other for 24 hours nonstop, no food, no water, just whiskey and PCP! Well, they don’t want you to get an infection! I never eat sushi. “35 classmates minus 4 equals 31.” We were tough… we were tough. Good! No one should ever have any object placed inside their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo okay? Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Unlike some other Gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. 9000… that’s all; it’s a minor risk! Kids are like any other group of people; a few winners, a whole lot of losers! And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added, free, complementary, bonus gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine, imitation, leather-style, carrying case with authentic vinyl trim… yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it’s our way of saying “thank you”. Aw that’s a good one. I tried to believe that there is a God who created each of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things, I really tried to believe that but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize something is fucked up. What are you gonna do? Now that is what’s known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit. In the tropics you may find yellow or orange fruit is the best way to increase your bird traffic. Personally, I don't believe it. The people are fucked. \- George Carlin. Second… he looks like a guy who can get things done. What are you fucking stupid? He didn’t participate in any of the sketches. Discover George Carlin famous and rare quotes. Did you ever notice on the TV news every time some guy with an AK-47 strolls onto a school yard and kills 3 or 4 kids and a couple of teachers, the next day, the next day, the school is overrun with counsellors and psychiatrists and grief counsellors and trauma therapists trying to help the children cope? George Carlin is a fucking walking paradox in this genius social critique of the modern, fast-paced world.

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