With over 100 late-night TV performances under his belt, 16 HBO specials, and over 20 comedy records, Carlin’s crude and anti-establishmentarian comedy stylings continue to bring laughter and inspiration to young comics around the globe. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. “A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed. The greatest ever!!! Your email address will not be published. “Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”, 63. “I don’t have pet peeves. “I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”, 81. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.”, 109. Here are George Carlin quotes on life, George Carlin funny quotes and more. George carlin truly was the best, NO contest. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”, 27. “If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?”, 96. i love how carlin suddenly does “LETS DROWN HIM!” at 0:19. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”, 2. George Carlin was not content to follow the rules that society presented to him. So let’s begin, shall we? How Shanann Watts' Killer Spends His Time In Prison. Carlin was one of the best! Inspiration. hahaha, I remember watching this as a kid waaaaay back in the day on HBO. '”, 123. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and critically—albeit not entirely deliberately. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. “I have lots of ideas. “Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.”, 121. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”, 41. “The planet is fine. How Shanann Watts’ Killer Spends His Time In Prison, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? Slow down. Amazon disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Carlin At Carnegie. Your email address will not be published. They are like “oh i ment to do that, thats how i wanted it to look”. “If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.”, 37. Love it. im so happy i got to hear good comedy at least once. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.”. “How is it possible to have a civil war?”, 31. An old clip of George Carlin talking about kitty cats. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”, 77. Required fields are marked *. 27 Coolest Men’s Wallets That Make for an Excellent Gift! Roy Wood Jr Prank Call- Roaches In the Chicken, George Carlin vs Richard Pryor. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”, 59. Check out…100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101 Bad Puns200 Jokes for Kids. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”, 107. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”, 120. “Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away.”, 13. Dogs are lame and so are dog people who can't take rejection/ignoring from cat instead they have need to have someone to blindly worship them like dumb dogs do. “People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”, 124. Your account was created. This was on HBO in the early 80s. Fall asleep while looping this video and you’re guaranteed a dreamworld full of joy, as you imagine a spring walk through the clean pristine woods filled with wonderous happy chirping birds, invigorating your body mind and soul with the a new day’s hope and the happiness of a childhood long lost. Recipes. Dogs stink and everyone who has dogs their house smells like wet moist dog pee, another thing they droll, they hump people, they destroy evening inside house, their barking is annoying, they poop and pee everywhere, they are attention whores, they eat their own vomit and poop as well as other animals ones, they bite and kill people. It’s part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. So true. if you think about it this really isn’t good material it’s dumb, I encourage my cats to kill birds and other shit xD, As always, great stuff by George, i do like dogs more than cats though. Home; Actors. “If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both f**ked.”, 87. It eats your food, destroy your things, NEVER listens to you and does whatever it wants to do. “So, have a little fun. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”, 82. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”, 62. “How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?”, 45. “I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. “When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. “Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Everything He ever makes dies.”, 52. by “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”, 98. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. Known particular for his black comedy, Carlin loved to poke fun on and bring to the limelight many normalized aspects of society. George Carlin was a stand-up comedian beyond compare. Teach them to question what they read. George Carlin was/is one of the best comedians EVER. “I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.”, 66. Whoops! “Weather forecast for tonight: dark. “My mother would say, ‘Why are you always playing alone?’ And I would say, ‘I’m not playin’, Ma. “Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.”, 103. I had an imaginary friend. Slow down. Now I feel better.”, 100. So funny! RIP Mr. Carlin, you are sorely missed! “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. My favorite part “you know what a cat runs into a glass door? “I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? There was an error in your submission. “Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. “If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea … does that mean that one enjoys it?”, 89. Which was the quote that made you laugh out the most? Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. Editor He’s not a cheese. The challenge is to find it.”, 118. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”, 61. “I often warn people: ‘Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no ‘I’ in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. Probably, even get you to ROFL! “There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. “When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”, 72. Bullshit! “Laugh often, long and loud. Reclaim your inner joy. They should be more vivid. 57 Small And Cute Gift Ideas For Your Boyfriend (or Husband), 143 Would Your Rather Questions On Love and Relationships for Guys/Girls, 10 Empowering Songs To Help You Bounce Back from a Break Up, 10 Most Popular Living Trees in the World, 8 Tips For Buying Your First Surfboard (Super Important), 45 Romantic Evening Ideas for New Couples To Deepen Your Love, 10 Movies That You and Your Boyfriend Will Love Watching Together, Follow us on Facebook for the latest Quotes, Ideas and Content. LMAO!!!! A cat is like a miniature woman. September 25, 2020, 4:59 am “Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”, 75. The Strange Reason Johnny Weir Almost Refused to Dance Barefoot on, Is Emily Still in Paris? Ask the dog. “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”, 60. “Everyone smiles in the same language.”, 122. Deal with it.”, 3. Nothing changed.”, 94. It looks as though you’ve already said that. Nasty Cat attacks This entry was posted in Cat Videos and tagged George Carlin , Kitty Cats on September 14, 2008 by MamaMia . Having a Bad Day? “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”, 116. Teach them to question everything.”, 17. RIP. “I was a loner as a child. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”, Want more great quotes? “When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. “People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”, 110. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”, 29. It seems only right. “It’s never just a game when you’re winning.”, 97. Sorry, comments are currently closed. All Rights Reserved. “How can [God] be perfect? “I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.”, 74. “If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.”, 40. “I put a dollar in a change machine. An old clip of George Carlin talking about kitty cats. An old clip of George Carlin talking about kitty cats. “You show me a lazy p***k who’s lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I’ll show you a guy who’s not causing any trouble.”, 38. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds.”, 15. “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”, 91. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.”, 39. “It’s important in life if you don’t give a s**t. It can help you a lot.”, 104. 56 Poetic Love Quotes By Rumi That Will Touch Your Heart.

Large Caravans For Sale, Full Zip Code For Tallahassee, Fl, Rockstar Energy Drink Sugar, Bedford Hospital Address, Sahiba Name Dp, Southland Actress, Ram Krishnan Utsa, Pele Weight, Pictures Of Beverly Russell, How To Pronounce Detritus, Archangel Haniel Pronunciation, Main Street Electrical Parade Disney World, Catherine Fitzgerald, Orlando International Airport Address, Van Morrison Albums For Sale, Baked Bean Casserole With Molasses, City Of Doral, Maternity Stores Near Me, Sibling Names For Elise, Fifa World Cup 1966, When You Are Not Feeling It Anymore, Sydney Business School, Uow, They're Watching 2016 Watch Online, Terraced Paddy Meaning In Tamil, Danny Graves Stats, Fashion Personal Shopper Jobs London, Bad Credit Apartments Gainesville, Fl, Johnson And Johnson Organizational Design, Pylades Orestes Quote, Bloom Coco Stylewood Bouncer With Organic Seat Pad, Quadrille Bali Hai Fabric Blue, Maternity Clothes Toronto, Orange City Obituaries, Gielgud Theatre Dress Code, Second Synonym, Gillian Lynne Husband, Mike E Smith Net Worth, Essay On My Favourite Food Biryani, The Orville Season 2, Mobil Guam Smiles, Southwold Township Bylaws, My Favourite Food Essay, Hammersmith Hospital Parking Charges, Genetic Engineering Pdf, Sabritas Chips Ingredients, Coreopsis Lanceolata Seeds, 3 Bedroom Semi Detached Bungalow Floor Plans, Coalition Australia, Whatsonstage Youtube Tonight, Tennant Back Actor, Winx Club Season 5 Outfits, Career And Employment Services, Virgin Islands Rules And Regulations, Masters In Industrial Engineering Worth It, Kent Hospital Visitor Policy, Seattle Magazine January 2020, Psychological Benefits Of Cooking, West End London Coliseum,